Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Anyway

My best friend wrote this song years ago and it is still a source of encouragement to me to this very day.  For anyone experiencing pain, difficulty, loss or just the twists and turns of life, may this song encourage you as well.  

Following The Way,
Kevin

Anyway
By Lois Commodore

In the good times it’s so easy to smile.  It’s so easy to pray when there are sunny days.
But when the bad times come and my tears block the sun, I’ll still praise the Lord anyway.

The Lord gives and He takes away.  I will praise his name anyway.
The Lord gives and He takes away and I will praise his name anyway.

I don’t know if tomorrow will bring me joy or sorrow.  Sometimes uncertainty gets the best of me.  But in God my future is sure.  I know I am secure so I will praise the Lord anyway.

The Lord gives and He takes away.  I will praise his name anyway.
The Lord gives and He takes away and I will praise his name anyway.

Persecuted but not forgotten; cast down but never broken.  When loved ones leave and friends turn away, I can still find the peace to lift my voice and say.

He gives, He gives and He takes away.  I will praise his name anyway.
The Lord gives and He takes away and I will praise his name anyway.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When God Disappoints

I have to admit I do not handle disappointment well.  When people disappointment me there's an automatic response in me to withdraw.  I don't even realize I'm doing it most times and many times it's a subtle withdrawal: a facial expression, the absence of a smile, a polite coldness.  I'm often not aware that I am subtly withdrawing until someone points it out to me.  It's something I have struggled with for a very long time, but I need to learn to make peace with disappointment because it's a guarantee that people will disappoint you from time to time.  Disappointment from people is inevitable, but what do you do when you feel disappointed by God?  I don't know.  I'm working through this right now.

Anyone who walks with God long enough will experience disappointment with God.  It's a part of the authentic journey with God.  Walk with God long enough and God will disappoint you.  Not because God wants to hurt your feelings, not because God ceases to be faithful; God never ceases to be faithful, but because God often does the unexpected and often leaves the expected undone.  Our disappointment stems from our expectations of God and sometimes, as in any relationship, our expectations need to be adjusted.

I am disappointed with God right now regarding a major area of my life.  I have asked for God's help with something that I cannot make happen on my own and it hasn't happened yet.  I feel like it's been a long time.  I have watched many other people in my life have what I am still praying for and there are times when I can't help but ask,  "God where are you?  Do you see me?  Can't you see that I'm hurting?  Do you care?  When are you going to do something?  I can't make this happen on my own and I don't think I can wait much longer."  It's hard.  It's frustrating.  I feel it's unfair.  I don't know what to do.

I withdrew from God in prayer because I couldn't help but feel that God was responsible for my pain in some way.  Has anyone else ever felt that way?  I felt that God was just watching me go through life with a broken heart and not doing anything so I withdrew.  I stopped talking to God in prayer and in doing so I cut myself off from a major source of strength in my life.  Big mistake!

So what do I do now?  My back is against the wall.  I can't fall back on my default position: withdrawal; that's not working.  Giving God the silent treatment is accomplishing nothing!  I cannot deny that God is faithful.  Even in the midst of my disappointment I see God taking care of me in other ways.  I have no choice but to begin to make peace with my disappointment, to begin again with God, to try to have a different understanding of what it means to walk with God.  I don't quite know how to do that, but I am committed to staying on the journey.  I will share more about this in my next entry.  Thanks for walking alongside me on this journey so far.

Following the Way,
Kevin

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Still Say Thank You

Gratitude is something I try to weave into my everyday life. I usually do a pretty good job doing so, but sometimes I lose sight of all the reasons I have to be grateful.  Sometimes I focus too much on what I don't have.  Sometimes when I'm hurting, frustrated and disappointed I forget to say thank you.  And saying thank you is important because even when there's a lot of stuff in my life going wrong I still have to be grateful for all the stuff that's going right.  Even when I am angry at God I still have to say thank you to God for being the Source that sustains me, for being the Source of everything that is good in my life.

There's a song titled, "Still Say Thank You", and every time I hear it I am pulled back to that place of gratitude.  I'm reminded that weaving a posture of gratitude into your daily life is absolutely essential to living well no matter what life may throw at you.  I hope that listening to this song will do the same for you.

Following the Way,
Kevin

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Letting Others In

"It is not good for man to be alone." 
Genesis 2:18

This is the first social commentary on the human condition in the Bible and these ancient words are still so true in our modern world today.  Prolonged social isolation can have devastating effects on an individual and yet for many of us withdrawing is the first thing we do when we experience pain.  We run. We hide.  We lock ourselves in.  We lock others out, often the ones who love us the most.  We feel that we need to process the pain alone, but this is a very dangerous game we're playing.  Getting into the habit of shutting others out when in pain can lead us down a very dark road where we find ourselves unable to find the light again and too far gone for anyone to see us lost in the dark.  So why do we do it?  Why do so many of us shut others out when we need them the most?

I have my own reasons and maybe you'll be able to relate to some of them.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Gift of Presence



I had dinner with a friend yesterday.  It had been a while since we had gotten together just the two of us and we finally got around to scheduling something and making it happen.  I can't tell you how much of a gift it was to have a simple dinner with a friend.  We took our time.  I got to her place at 6:30 and didn't leave to head home until 10.  In such a hurried world where everyone is in such a rush and everyone has so many things to do, it was such a blessing to feel the freedom to relax and enjoy the company of a friend without a strict time limit.

I went home feeling strengthened, unburdened and at peace.  Why? What caused that?  It wasn't the meal even though dinner was great.  It wasn't dessert.  Although I have to say that the frozen yogurt we picked up after dinner came close to changing my life!  It was the best frozen yogurt I had ever had.  I strongly recommend that you find your way to a Pinkberry in Cambridge or Boston if possible.  It will change your life or come pretty close :)  Anyway, as good as my mango frozen yogurt topped with fresh strawberries was (Thank you Jesus), that's not what made me feel better.  I felt better simply being in the presence of someone who cares for me.  It was the gift of her presence to me that made me feel better, made my problems feel more manageable, made me feel less alone.

The gift of presence.  There's really no substitute for it.  Especially when someone is hurting it's the best gift you can give.  Simply be present.  I know we're all very busy with so many things to do, but I would like to put forth a challenge.  Get better at responding to your emails.  Get better at returning your phone calls.  Get better at following up with a friend who wants to get together.  Give someone the gift of your presence.  It's more powerful than you probably realize.  Don't underestimate the difference it may make in someone's life.  Simply be present to those you say you care about.  You may change a life without ever knowing it.  Give someone the gift of your presence.  You are needed more than you realize.

Following the Way,
Kevin