These past couple of weeks have been trying for me. I have felt beaten down by life, felt helpless to effect the kind of change I want, frustrated and tired of facing one struggle after another. I need a break. Can I get a time out? I've been angry. I'm tired of obstacles coming into my life that I have no control over. I've put so much effort into guarding my heart and yet I find it broken again. I find no humor in the irony. I have reached my breaking point. I don't understand what God is up to or why he has allowed such struggle in my life. I am tired. They say that trials come to make you strong. Well if that's the case then people can stop calling me Kevin and start calling me the Incredible Hulk! And I can't be the only one who has ever felt this way. Sometimes you want to say, "Hey God, remember me? I know you're busy and all, but a little help here would be nice. Thanks!"
"Hold on. Don't give up. Hang in there." Hearing these words are not very comforting when you are facing great difficulty, but what other option is there? I'm hurting right now. I'm angry right now. I'm tired and frustrated right now, but I'm not ready to give up. I have to keep going. I've experienced too many moments of joy to give up now. And though I'm not particularly feeling this joy at this moment I know it will return, because the One who provides this joy is faithful.
Let's be honest, life can very quickly and unexpectedly become very difficult. Sometimes success is crying one less tear than you did the day before. You can't always fly. You can't always run. Sometimes you have to walk and when you don't have the strength for that sometimes you have to crawl. The most important thing is that you keep moving. What other option is there?
I trust God. I often don't understand what He's up to, but I trust God and I am waiting patiently for joy to return because I know that it will.
Following the Way,
Kevin
